It's Been a While..."since I could hold my head up high"...

Lol. but truly, it has been a while since I posted anything on here. I think I am maturing, and I would hope so since I will be grown in a couple of months. Although I got HORRID grades this last marking period and only a miracle will save my chances of being accepted into my top ( and truly ONLY) choice next year, TUFTS University, I think I have realized that my High School GPA is not the end of the world, I mean, I could always transfer! DUH! plus my future roomate, yes I said roomate, wants me to go to a local school with her anyway and I won't mind that too much, (only a semester though! shh!) lol. Yeah, I guess I am a Scorpio true to the sence, I will get what I want. Even if it takes some time. I finished Bartending school and as soon as I am eighteen I will file for my official licence and begin working... I know bartending is a hard profession to break into but I got connections!! lol. I think that High School will just be different when you have your own place, shit my life will be different. My job is kwel, even though I get paid like nothing for being a little receptionist it will look kwel on my application so I deal. I know how so many people deal with their depression now, they pile too much shit on their load to even notice how miserable they feel, so that's what I'll start doing. lol but other than that I'm kwel. I think that my expectations are too high which is one reason why I am always finding myself within that valley of mediocracy, to me, mediocracy is a 3.4 it's like ehh...its nothing to brag about. But for other people a 3.4 is an accomplishment and I need to learn to be happy with that and stop beating myself up because I will never get anywhere if I continue to do that. As we all know though, the mid-semester blues roll around and I'll be singing my same sad ass song again so I'll just enjoy the mood I'm in now! lol. I was supposed to go and see my baby in New York this summer but he has been acting shitty, yeah I said shitty. He found a little poptart that he likes and I think they maybe serious, (long story), lets just say I practice the art of alternative relationships, but anyway if he's willing to throw away five years then whatever. Men truly astonish me. But I am feeling too good to let him make me end on a sour note. I met a girl and I like her, I think she may be a "perm"- thing.